funny conversation i just heard:

Mummy: I go masjid alot of boys your age go. when u want to start going masjid?
Boy: Mummy, last week i go Dangdut alot of people your age were there. When you want to start going dangdut?

child:thank you mama for narrating to me sirah nabi-nabi and those fairy tales. now i have learned how to "hate to hate"

mum|me|:happy to hear that sayang. But then again, while hating to hate would bring you somewhere, learning how to "love to love" would bring you to a better place.

I am writing in multiple personae because I sense this multiple characters within me , existing . Oddly, I am trying to motivate myself by apportioning a part of me as a mom (woman) and the child. Maybe it is the age that I am in. In the transition phase of a child and an adult.

Close both eyes
to see with the other eye. -Rumi

Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form. -Rumi

Let the beauty we love be what we do. - Rumi

Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.- Rumi

The kind of thing I know but is entangled somewhere in the back of the mind, vaguely visible. I appreciate these verses when I read them. But unfortunately , sometimes I feel that my appreciation leads to my stagnation or probably it is over-assumptious to even call them appreciation since I fail (in experience) to holistically fuse it in me. I just appreciate them as words and momentarily believe my life to revolve around such quotes, but get influenced by the worldly diversity such that my anchor points gets blurred.

A plethora of things entices me and to strike the balance of these different notion that defines me is one challenge and is indeed , a dream.

A vicious cycle.The hardest personal challenge is to stop merely romanticizing them quotes and to start creating anchor points , in planning how i want to live. But then again, probably to realise the challenge is the first step closer to overcoming it. hopefully, insyAllah.